Women and church
Somtimes, I sit back and ask myself, what at all do women want or need from the Lord? Could it be that women have a craving for their Maker than men?
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Just look around our churches, are there not more women than men? It gets even worse when it comes to mid-week morning sessions in some churches. Are there not more women than men?
Fine, researchers at Harvard University’s public health graduate school found that frequent churchgoers lived an average of five months longer than those who never attended religious services and were 33 per cent less likely to die over a 16-year period. But I doubt if that’s the reason why women throng to minsters the way they do.
The situate of one of such busy mid-week morning church services finds itself about 500m away from my abode. You should see the number of women who form part of the congregation. In fact, as early as 6:30 a.m., the large well ventilated shed would be half-filled to capacity.
Last Wednesday, on my way to work, I decided to chat up two congregants to know what their reason for being part of the fellowship was.
I just wanted to know. One gave her name as Auntie Beatrice; the other, Sister Konadu. I interviewed them separately. Let me allow you into a bit of our discussion:
Me: Auntie Beatrice, so where do you live?
Auntie Beatrice: Kasoa
Me: You mean, the Kasoa we know?
Auntie Beatrice: (laughing) is there any other Kasoa apart from the same one we know?
Me: I’m surprised because time is only 6:50 a.m., and …. In fact, please if you don’t mind, what time did you wake up to make it here so early?
Auntie Beatrice: Sister, if you know what is chasing you, you don’t mind taking desperate steps to your venue of solution. I live in a traffic-prone area so I always make sure to leave the house early if I need to get to town early. Today for instance, by five o’clock, I was already on my way here.
In this cold weather, this woman had managed to rise from sleep, take a bath, board a commercial vehicle, to get to the church arena.
I was so surprised. At five, I was still tucked in bed feeling very lazy to hop out. What could have sanctioned her there that early?
Me: Madam, if I may ask, what is it that is “chasing” you here, to borrow your own words.
Auntie Beatrice: (Smiling broadly) My sister, life can be very difficult sometimes. When you have a husband like mine, you will seek a solution to your problems. We’ve been married for 12 years. We have five children, aged between ages eleven and two.
As you can see, I am five months pregnant. This man who works as a factory hand in the industrial area has become very promiscuous. He had been that way for a long time but I only got to know about it in March this year.
He had put two other women in the family way. So as I speak, there are three of us. Not that he takes care of our children anymore.
He has taken to drinking (and with that statement, a well of tears spewed round her eyeballs). I simply don’t know what the women out there see about him. But I am not one to sit and watch what could have been better, get worse.
Our families have come in to settle the issue which I reported to his Ebusuapanyin after I heard the news of his fertility prowess. Our pastors have equally sat him down to talk to him but to no avail. Now he has even stopped going to church.
A friend showed me this place and said if only I could manage to get the special oil being sold at this place, everything would be okay.
So well, I decided to give it a try. It’s my third week of visiting this place, and I think I am seeing some improvement in the case. At least now he comes home to sleep.
Me: I see. Erm, Madam please I hope I’m not bothering you with too many questions. But you said earlier that your pastors had chatted with him on the issue but to no avail. It presupposes you attend a different church somewhere, right?
Auntie Beatrice: Yes.
There was no way I could have allowed our pastors who aren’t prophets to bring me out of it with their plenty talking. What I needed was a miracle. I know my expectations will not be cut off.
I could sense the pain in her heart as she spoke from her very soul. Being pregnant, knowing two others had been put in the same state by one’s husband, wouldn’t be a light load to bear.
Gross irresponsibility on the part of a man who has decided to let lose his manhood. This was a very serious matter.
But on a lighter note, my mind went straight on to an article I read about a peaceful demonstration which took place in Kenya the other day. This was held by some women in Limuru, Kiambu County.
Their story? They were protesting against the dwindling performance of men in the bedroom; their men had failed to perform their conjugal rights.
The women said the trend was worsened by high levels of alcohol consumption which saw many men abandon their families.
The women further claimed that only a few newly married women were currently pregnant, with the rest of them dreaming about ever having a baby since men have failed to impregnate them.
In this regard, the women were calling on the government to enforce a law which restricts drinking from 5pm to 11pm for week days and 2 p.m.-11p.m. for weekends. Hmm!
Oh, I’m told I have run out of space. Let’s see if I am able to bring you the rest of the story next week.
Writer’s email: ablah@[email protected]
